futuristic

Today, I went on a first date. It's the first, first date I've been on in 10 months. (No, I haven't been in a dry spell...just preoccupied). The amazing thing about going on a date with someone is that a date leads to thinking about the future. Of course, I don't mean marriage or children or mortages...I mean, have you met me?! But in reality, a first date makes you think about a second date and a second date makes you think about a text or a phone call and a third date makes you think about whether or not your friends will like him. Personally, I think about all of these things, but I also begin to think about whether I should trust him. Whether he'll end up hurting me. Whether or not I should let my guard down. But this time, as we sat talking about random first date topics, I wondered if he is someone I will hurt, and how he'll deal with that. I wondered to myself how he would feel if he lets his guard down and gets too close. I wondered if he will want me to meet his friends, and if so, will they one day hate me for leaving him behind. It's sad how others' careless actions can have such a huge effect on us, on our hearts. Or maybe it's important because I've learned that I never want to ever be the reason why people question themselves or their bodies or their hopes or their dreams. I don't know what the future will hold for me and my first date, but I do think these thoughts mean that I've learned to care again, and I really like the idea of caring.