As a 4th year middle school teacher, I honestly believe that I have seen some of the most awkward social interactions that exist. In my classroom, I prepare myself daily for the unexpected. I prepare for inappropriate jokes. I prepare for sudden burts of 8th grade hormones. I prepare for questions that make me blush. I prepare for the alpha-male, who cannot calm himself down. Apparently, I should have prepared myself when I learned P90X had asked me on a date because, in all honesty, he put my 8th graders' social awkwardness to shame.
P90X and I met a few months earlier, playing volleyball together twice a week with a group of mutual friends. I liked him, but I didn't know him. I do not think that the two of us had an actual conversation in all that time. So when he asked me to go to a play and dinner, in front of the whole team, I assumed it was a group event. It wasn't. I learned a few days later, through another teammate, that no one else was going. I had in fact accepted a date with P90X, and the whole team knew about our future outing.
A red flag alert went through my brain immediately...I mean, who does that? Ask a girl out in front of other people...but I'm a "down for anything kind of girl" so I never considered calling off the date. I mean, at the very least, I'd see a play and have dinner for free, right? Isn't that part of the fun of the dating awkwardness?
And so I prepared myself for the date with the simply normal routine of showering, make-upping, dressing, and perfuming. Too soon, P90X called to let me know he was downstairs. I was anxious when I walked downstairs...feelings of excitement and nervousness swam in my stomach. I took one last glance in the mirror in my condo lobby, as I walked slowly, unsure what to expect, but still carrying the normal burden and joy of first-date awkwardness.
P90X was standing outside of his car. I realized at once that I was taller than him which in hindsight is funny. The idea that his height would be anything to remember in comparison to what happened next. He openned the door for me, but I noticed with uneasy awkwardness that the door he openned and motioned for me to enter was the backseat.
As I slid into the car, P90X said calmly and with too much ease, "these are my parents, Bill and Joni."
Really? FML! His parents were in the front seat. His dad was driving. We were all going out to dinner together. And I immediately realized, with dread, that I was so not getting laid tonight.
