California Roll: Take 2

I was suppose to meet Scooty for happy hour at 5:30. I kind of knew I needed to put an end to things. I mean, we had been on three dates, and although he was sweet and so nice and attentive to me, he didn't have the spice that I needed to continue. The conversation was often lacking...to the point that we resorted to talking about the weather, scooters, and cheese. (Did I ever even mention that for a living, he makes cheese?) But, when on a Friday, at noon, he texted me saying, "what time is too early for happy hour?!" My heart started to race; he had finally made a little funny, and I got super excited. Maybe he had just been shy and uneasy with dating. Maybe, just maybe, he was a little more spicy than the California Roll after all. I agreed to meet him and made a silent stipulation with myself: if happy hour was as spice-lacking as the rest of the dates, I would end it. I mean, we hadn't even kissed yet, so I figured a nice, "it's been great getting to know you as a friend" type closure would be a perfect ending to this little scooty situation.
However, Scooty threw me for another loop when I asked to meet a little earlier. He texted back, "I can meet you at 5, if you can handle my Hawaiian shirt." And I loved it. I thought he was making another little joke, so I texted back, "Of course, I can handle your Hawaiian shirt! In fact, I'll top it with my Hawaiian swimsuit."
And then, he called. I mean, he couldn't even handle a little mild salsa spiced texting. When he called, he proceeded to tell me that the reason he had to wear a Hawaiian shirt to happy hour was because he no longer had time to return home and change before meeting me. The reason why he was wearing a Hawaiian shirt in the first place was because it was how he got a little crazy at work on Fridays.
I proceeded to tell him, I couldn't meet him for happy hour. I couldn't meet him ever. The thing about people is that we either have spice or we don't; the recipes that are our souls, can't be added to or modified. They've already been made and baked to create who we are. Nice, sweet, and quiet, just doesn't pair well with spicy, silly, and dramatic.