Techno-feed

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There is something to be said about dating in the 21st Century. I'm not sure what the something is exactly, but I know that technology like cell phones and computers and communication options such as texting, facebooking, and internet dating sites are, at the same time, the best and worst motivators for dating. Last week I went on a date. Before going on the date, I googled him. Not only did I google him, I facebooked him and google imaged him and LinkedIn him. Honestly, I don't even know what information I was actually hoping to find; I just knew that if there was any information out there, I wanted and needed to know it pre-dinner at Vine Street. I mean, it's crazy the amount of information we can find about people before we even meet them. My friends and I pass off this digital stalking as necessary for safety reasons. I mean, what if he has already lied about his job, current city, or even having a girlfriend. What if he is in a Facebook-declared relationship, and we have no idea? What if he lives with his parents or has a creepy criminal background? I have a friend who recently googled her new lover. She had been on maybe four dates with him at this point, and apparently, should have googled him prior to date 1. Her google search led her to discover that he was on the list for being a convicted peeping tom. Creepy and gross? Yes. Important to know before getting too attached? Definitely. Information that will kill any future dates with Creepy-Mc-Creeperson? Absolutely.
The truth is, I think our internet stalking screening reasons go way beyond safety. In truth, when I googled my date, I learned that he was outdoorsy, liked to cook, and use to be a dj. I also learned that he has had mulitple jobs in the past few years, lives on a farm, never wants children, and has 3 dogs and a cat. I think the cat was the deal breaker...I went into the date unenthusiastic and less excited had I not googled him.
Here's the kicker...not only, do we have the ability to learn valuable information before the date, we have the unfortunate advantage to learn heart-wrenching information after the relationship, date, or sex have ended. I have a friend who googled her ex-boyfriend. He was an ex from a long time ago, and he sucked. I mean, he hurt her feelings often and in the end, he cheated and then left her for a new girl. She googled his name; clearly, she was hoping to find out horrible information involving arrests, convictions, or anything really that would her to believe he lives in a world of constant unhappiness and pain. That karma is real and exists. Much to her dismay, she learned he is a business moguel who left his 6 figure salaried job to begin a which benefits at-risk children. I mean, what a blow!
And then, there is facebook. Chances are, if you're dating someone or friends with benefits or even just casually sexing someone, you've friended them on facebook. I mean, facebook has got to be the dumbest idea ever because once things end, whether good or bad, you're forced to get their updates, see their pictures, and even learn about their next relationships. You are slapped in the face with how they've moved on, completely, and left you behind. It doesn't even matter how amazing your life is without that person...because it really only matters that they're happy without you, and everyday you get to see the proof on your f-ing newsfeed.

So ladies...take caution with internet tools. Protect yourself, but also, protect your hearts. Stalk only as necessary and really, don't be afraid to not friend or add contacts or even delete contacts after things are over.