Cutie Patootie Date Spot

The Cherry Tomato

This restaurant truly offers a perfect atmosphere for a first, second, third, or fiftith date. It's adorable, cozy, and romantic. The wine list ranges from expensive to very affordable, the food is cooked in an open kitchen, and the service is almost sweeter than the canolies (which are amazing). The truth is, I am not really a "let's go out for Italian food" type of girl, but The Cherry Tomato, I love. I could dine there all day, every day, and never grow tired of the food or the atmosphere.

First on my LIKE list: Carbonara Pasta...and I don't even like bacon. Second on my LIKE list: Award Winning Meat Lasagna.

http://www.cherrytomatodenver.com/Home.html

4645 East 23rd Avenue

Denver, CO 80207

(303) 377-1914

Tickle Toy

Soooo this one time, I got a tickler. It came from a boy I was about to go on a date with. I mean, most boys bring, if anything, flowers. But the boy I found brought a tickler, from China nonetheless. He handed it to me as he walked in the door, expecting me to be grateful, expecting me to swoon. I grasped the tickler, certainly wearing my questions and shock on my face. I looked up...half flirtatiously, half in "you're an idiot" voice and asked him if he gave this toy to all of his female conquests. He replied, honestly and quickly, "no, I typically reserve such a prize only for the children."

*The said tickler is actually called a CAUTUYEN...apparently it is a children's toy, similar to a hackey sack.

That is so Colorado.

In Colorado, the boys don't ask you to dinner or a movie for a first date; they ask you to a bluegrass festival, a camping weekend, a half marathon relay race, a hike, or maybe, if he's ready for something chill, a brewery tour.

clear pool vs swampy land

I have a couple friends who have recently begun dipping their toes into the online dating pool. Online dating has become a legitimate way to meet significant others, and my friends seem to enter into the sign up process with the same excitment that I feel when securing a new catch. They glow when they get winked at and talk excitedly about noticing a new fish, much the same as noticing someone new in "real" life. However, it is not the same. From what I can tell, it seems that online dating comes with a heavier emotional burden than "regular" dating. And this perceived burden has caused me to run in the opposite direction from the online dating world.
When I meet someone face-to-face, I make small talk, laugh lightly, giggle at his jokes, allow him to buy me a drink, and eventually exchange numbers. On the first date, I may, or may not, begin diving into the deeper stuff; it's slow, and I don't have to disclose too much information until I feel confident and comfortable with the other person.
Online dating really scares me because, prior to the first date, there is already communication through the website, texts, emails, and phone calls. Users' profiles themselves contain much information and photos, so to me, it seems like there is opportunity for rejection before even seeing each other face to face.
And there we go--I have labeled my fear of online dating--REJECTION. What if I put all this information and pictures of myself on the website and no one even winks at me? How would it feel to have others see me, read about me and then not want me?
And what if they do like what they see in the online catalog? What if they do put me in their cart and ask to see me soon? It could work out, but, if it doesn't, what happens when there is already a sense of attachment because of the mulitple communication trys prior to date one?
For the sake of my heart, and all the boys who may want to wink at me online, I'll try to stay out of the online dating pool and keep my feet on the swampy land that is "regular dating".

Techno-feed

Image via Wikipedia

There is something to be said about dating in the 21st Century. I'm not sure what the something is exactly, but I know that technology like cell phones and computers and communication options such as texting, facebooking, and internet dating sites are, at the same time, the best and worst motivators for dating. Last week I went on a date. Before going on the date, I googled him. Not only did I google him, I facebooked him and google imaged him and LinkedIn him. Honestly, I don't even know what information I was actually hoping to find; I just knew that if there was any information out there, I wanted and needed to know it pre-dinner at Vine Street. I mean, it's crazy the amount of information we can find about people before we even meet them. My friends and I pass off this digital stalking as necessary for safety reasons. I mean, what if he has already lied about his job, current city, or even having a girlfriend. What if he is in a Facebook-declared relationship, and we have no idea? What if he lives with his parents or has a creepy criminal background? I have a friend who recently googled her new lover. She had been on maybe four dates with him at this point, and apparently, should have googled him prior to date 1. Her google search led her to discover that he was on the list for being a convicted peeping tom. Creepy and gross? Yes. Important to know before getting too attached? Definitely. Information that will kill any future dates with Creepy-Mc-Creeperson? Absolutely.
The truth is, I think our internet stalking screening reasons go way beyond safety. In truth, when I googled my date, I learned that he was outdoorsy, liked to cook, and use to be a dj. I also learned that he has had mulitple jobs in the past few years, lives on a farm, never wants children, and has 3 dogs and a cat. I think the cat was the deal breaker...I went into the date unenthusiastic and less excited had I not googled him.
Here's the kicker...not only, do we have the ability to learn valuable information before the date, we have the unfortunate advantage to learn heart-wrenching information after the relationship, date, or sex have ended. I have a friend who googled her ex-boyfriend. He was an ex from a long time ago, and he sucked. I mean, he hurt her feelings often and in the end, he cheated and then left her for a new girl. She googled his name; clearly, she was hoping to find out horrible information involving arrests, convictions, or anything really that would her to believe he lives in a world of constant unhappiness and pain. That karma is real and exists. Much to her dismay, she learned he is a business moguel who left his 6 figure salaried job to begin a which benefits at-risk children. I mean, what a blow!
And then, there is facebook. Chances are, if you're dating someone or friends with benefits or even just casually sexing someone, you've friended them on facebook. I mean, facebook has got to be the dumbest idea ever because once things end, whether good or bad, you're forced to get their updates, see their pictures, and even learn about their next relationships. You are slapped in the face with how they've moved on, completely, and left you behind. It doesn't even matter how amazing your life is without that person...because it really only matters that they're happy without you, and everyday you get to see the proof on your f-ing newsfeed.

So ladies...take caution with internet tools. Protect yourself, but also, protect your hearts. Stalk only as necessary and really, don't be afraid to not friend or add contacts or even delete contacts after things are over.

breakfast before sex.

i didn't really expect to meet a boy at a bluegrass festival in lyons...especially because i was attending the festival with family friends. but...a few beers and tunes into the festival, i was my usual socialite-self, buzzing from booth to booth, dancing with different groups, and chatting with various other bluegrass lovers. while walking towards the beer tent, a dark, curly haired boy reached out his silver fat tire glass to cheers my own mug of ipa. his name was marco--he teaches in china. really, that should have stopped me from pursuing any form of romantic contact, but alas, it did not. we went for a walk next to the river, sat on the rocks together holding hands, and even shared an innocent peck on the lips. i mean...apparently, i went from attending a family function to a romantic getaway with a water view.
eventually, we had to say goodbye and go our separate ways, but not before exchanging numbers. we agreed to meet the next day for brunch, before he headed out of town. so, brunch we did, at snooze, denver's popular brunch-boozing place. we talked about everything under the sun--recent heartaches, long lost loves, family dramas, dreams, goals, hopes, regrets.
the thing is, i didn't like him...not even a little bit. i wasn't attracted to him in the slightest, i didn't like the way he looked at the world, and i disagreed with almost every aspect of his education philosophy. and yet, over drinks and breakfast, i was able to open up to him more than some of my closest friends. i told him things about myself that i have never, in my life, told anyone. the encounter ended sooner rather than later...i mean, i only have so many deep, dark secrets to confess. after breakfast, we shared a quick hug, exchanged numbers-mostly to be polite--and parted ways.
watching him walk away from my front door, i came to the conclusion that everything i did with him, is everything i need to bring into my actual relationships, with the boys i like. with him, i was laid back and fun, as usual, but i was also deep and emotional and serious and a little bit broken. in short, i didn't just give him fun; i gave him all of me. and i liked it.

love in the morning.

The eggs, raw and liquidy in the silver bowl

Stirred into a color between
orange yolk and clear fluid.

Swirled with lines of seasoned salt,
decorating not only the eggs
but my tongue too.

The salt is a gift from you.

You told me that secret
on a morning in October
when you cared that I
had the best eggs in the world.